Hot air or not, these things blow!
Time to expose another childhood plaything for the wolf in sheep’s clothing it is, and this month we’re talking balloons.
Yes, balloons. Those colourful, supposed harbingers of cheer.
You may ask, what’s wrong with balloons?
I ask you, what’s right with them?!
Not only are they dangerous to kids, they can wreak havoc with wildlife and are environmentally unfriendly. Yep, a trifecta of suckiness. Way to go, balloons.
Balloons – a deceptively evil party favour
As parents, our prime role is to ensure our kids are safe and happy. So, what do we do at birthdays to celebrate the fact that we’ve kept them alive another year? We give them a bunch of choking hazards. Thanks Mom and Dad, why don’t you just give me some sharp scissors to run around with while you’re at it?
It’s not just the obstructing the air pipe issue that’s the problem, the frickin’ things also shatter your nerves when they pop – talk about inducing anxiety. Take it from me, you won’t run into that issue with a nice stress ball.
And then we encourage kids to hit each other with them. Or, worse still, release them into the air, which essentially is just slow littering. Seriously, what kind of mixed messages are we sending here?
Don’t care about the kids? What about the planet?
Okay, so maybe you think it’s a good way to separate the wheat from the chaff – you know, “whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” kind of thing. Well, then consider the earth and its other innocent creatures.
From choking them on plastic to entangling them in its strings, balloons are a hazard for land and sea animals alike. And stupid balloons don’t hardly degrade. So, as with other one-time-use plastics, they just hang around for centuries cluttering up the place.
Want to make a festive mess? Try blowing some bubbles instead. Or throw around some popcorn . . . at least the dog will be happy!
Love seeing colourful things flipping around in the air? Get a wind sock, flags or pinwheels. They last longer and won’t, you know, kill things. Just sayin’.
Balloons – it’s time to let them go.